Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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