i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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