you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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