it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?