yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.