about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
A+ Viking dick