i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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