im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
