"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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