I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
