a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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