Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
