What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
