check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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