How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize