it wasn't lemon gatorade
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
