i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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