my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
