My first STD was from a foam party
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
