But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
