Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
