The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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