Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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