yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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