ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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