I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
