Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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