Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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