dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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