Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
