Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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