Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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