listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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