fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
