i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
