Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We are all done wearing pants today
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