It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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