Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize