I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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