So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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