He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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