i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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