ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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