Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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