About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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