hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
