I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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