bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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