should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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