hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize