I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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