Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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