yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
