My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
