Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
