Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
