So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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