So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
