you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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