whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
