another moral hangover. fuck.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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