fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
