I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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